Before entering the Jesuit Novitiate in Lahane, Dili, I spent three years at Casa Gonzaga, the Jesuit Candidacy House of Formation in Perumnas, Dili. During my time there, I also studied at the Instituto São João de Brito, a teacher training institute. Casa Gonzaga helped me grow academically, emotionally, and spiritually as I prepared to join the next stage of formation—the novitiate. The Jesuit Novitiate serves as a house of formation for those seeking to discern God’s will and dedicate themselves to serve God’s greater glory and the salvation of souls through the Society of Jesus.
Reflecting on my spiritual journey over one year and ten months in the novitiate, I recognize it as a time filled with God’s love and care as He has shaped me into His child; with greater maturity. Upon entering the novitiate, I felt a lack of inner freedom and found praying difficult. Additionally, my understanding of the Christian faith was limited. However, as time went on, God illuminated my mind and deepened my desire to love Him and His Will, through the generous formators who guided me in different ways.
I have experienced holistic growth—physically, emotionally, and spiritually—thanks to the excellent formation provided by my formators, who shared their intellectual and spiritual knowledge and experiences with me. They helped me appreciate the meaning and beauty of the Catholic faith and my vocation to follow and fulfill God’s will. Through spiritual formation, studying catechism and Ignatian spirituality, learning English, and engaging in personal reflection on my past, present, and future especially, through the PPSI (Physio-Psycho-Spiritual Integration) Program, I have gained very much awareness, understanding, acceptance, commitment, and integration in my vocation. These experiences have drawn me closer to God and offered me new perspectives on Him in my daily living. Consequently, I have come to accept myself as I am; learned to manage my emotions gracefully, and surrendered my life to God, resulting in a profound sense of freedom in my heart.
My 30-day retreat, 9-day pilgrimage, hospital and labor experiments have deepened my vocation calling. These spiritual experiences and challenges are invaluable to me; to feel God’s profound love. They have taught me to love, trust, and surrender everything to God. I know and believe that God is not distant or absent; rather, He is with me, actively working in my life. He enlightens my mind and heart, igniting my desire to love Him in every situation. These experiences are the essence of my response to God’s call because I deeply believe He is truly my security and everything.
In short, my Jesuit Novitiate formation has deepened my love and trust in God. He has marvelous dreams and desires for me to build a strong relationship with Him and open my heart and mind so that I can continue to discern and live His Will daily. [Sch. Inácio E.F. Martins, SJ]