Sch. Marcos Apu Colo, SJ, has recently returned to Timor-Leste after completing his Magisterial in Philosophy in India and continuing his theological studies in Manila, Philippines. He is now residing in Taibesi Residence in Dili, where he is dedicated to practicing pastoral work, particularly in the areas covered by Jesuit missions in Timor-Leste.
His journey with the Companhia de Jesus, or Jesuits, began in 2009 when he became a candidate. At that time, the formation house was located in Taibesi next to the market. Alongside other candidates, he embarked on a one-and-a-half-year journey to pursue their dreams and study Ignatian Spirituality. In 2011, he applied for novitiate formation in Lahane Manresa, under the guidance of Fr. Joaquim, SJ as director, accompanying Sch. Marcos Apu Colo and six other scholastics in delving deeper into Jesuit studies and PPSI, while Fr. Divio acted as Socius for two years.
During his time as a novitiate in Lahane Manresa, he experienced profound encounters with the Holy Spirit, which deeply had an impact on him. There were two pivotal moments he will always cherish: one where he keenly sensed the reality of God’s calling, and another where he was overwhelmed by the depth of God’s love for him.
“The moment I realized that God is there for me, that He loves me, and that He has called me, was during a 30-day retreat in Maubara, Liquiça. Throughout that month-long experience, the reality of God’s presence was clear. I felt profoundly forgiven by the Lord, a forgiveness I struggled to grant myself, let alone extend to others. However, as I immersed myself in contemplation during the first week of the retreat, I began to sense God’s overwhelming love for me. Since that transformative time, the greatest gift the Jesuits have bestowed upon me is the gift of forgiveness. Through God’s boundless mercy, I have learned that He does not judge, and this realization has been the most significant blessing in my life.” – Sch. Marcos Apu Colo, SJ.
Before embarking on his journey with the Companhia de Jesus, Sch. Marcos Apu Colo, SJ felt unworthy of God’s forgiveness due to his perception of himself as a sinner. However, as he commenced his novitiate, through prayer and the guidance of his spiritual mentor, Fr. Joaquim, SJ, he began to perceive the magnificence of God’s glory, His boundless generosity, and His unfathomable forgiveness towards humanity. Sch. Marco, SJ learned that the crucial aspect is to actively seek God’s righteousness, to constantly seek His presence, and to heed His individual calls for each of us. Through this realization, Sch. Marco, SJ came to understand and affirm that God’s forgiveness extends even to sinners like himself.
“Even now, I find myself awestruck by the suddenness of it all, and I often ponder why God has chosen me to be one of His disciples. The thought that I am merely a sinner constantly weighs on my mind, leading me to question why I have been called. Prior to joining the Jesuits, I underwent training with sisters who taught about vocations, citing the example of Levi, recognized as one of the sinners whom Jesus called. This constant questioning persists: Why does God call us sinners?” – Sch. Marcos Apu Colo, SJ.
This year marked Sch. Marco Apu Colo, SJ’s 13th anniversary of his journey within the Society of Jesus. Throughout these years, he has encountered numerous challenges in his studies, personal life, and relationships with others. At times, these obstacles seemed insurmountable, threatening his resolve. However, one profound experience in Maubara, Liquiça, and his transformative journey as a novitiate served as guiding lights during these trials. He often reflects, “I am powerless alone; it is only through God’s blessings and His calling that I have persevered.” This realization has granted him the strength to overcome hurdles, fostering a deeper sense of faith and loyalty to God. Indeed, while we may feel powerless on our own, our Lord’s omnipotence turns impossibilities into possibilities.
“One of the most unforgettable moments occurred during the final phase of my novitiate years, known as the Pilgrimage experiment. It was a profound experience where God reaffirmed His presence, previously felt during my 30-day retreat, and provided reassurance of His Divine Providence. The pilgrimage route spanned from Dili to Liquiça, Balibo, Maliana, Bobonaro, Hauba, Atsabe, Letefoho, and back to Dili, encompassing four transformative days. For a Jesuit, the Pilgrimage experiment is a crucial journey of prayer and devotion, undertaken without any material possessions, relying entirely on Divine Providence for sustenance and guidance.” – Sch. Marcos Apu Colo, SJ.
Through the Pilgrimage experiment, Sch. Marcos Apu Colo, SJ found his faith in the Lord strengthened. He embraced a life of dependence on God, seeking His guidance in every circumstance. Moreover, this transformative experience empowered him to overcome his shyness, fears, and other inhibitions, emerging as a more open and courageous individual under the influence of the Holy Spirit.
After taking his first vows in 2013, Sch. Marcos Apu Colo, SJ embarked on a journey of further study. Alongside other scholastics, he traveled to Jogja, Indonesia, where they immersed themselves in a juniorate program for eight months. This period not only involved language and cultural studies but also laid the groundwork for their transition to university. Reflecting on his time in Jogja, Sch. Marcos noted that he found the environment comfortable, and mastering Bahasa Indonesia posed no significant challenge. However, the real test came in 2014 when they relocated to India. Adapting to the unfamiliar food, languages, social interactions, and cultural nuances proved to be a formidable challenge, presenting Sch. Marcos. SJ with an entirely different world to navigate.
During his five-year stay in India, from 2014 to 2019, Sch. Marcos. SJ dedicated two years to pursuing a program in English Literature and a master’s degree in Philosophy (MI). However, he encountered significant challenges, particularly with adapting to Indian culture, including the cuisine, language, communication styles, and the academic environment. Additionally, he found his English proficiency to be limited, as the eight months spent in Jogja, Indonesia, were insufficient for mastery. Fortunately, Sch. Marcos received invaluable support from the Jesuit fathers in India, who assisted him in enrolling in English courses during his free time, alongside his official studies, ensuring he could navigate his academic pursuits more effectively.
The journey of Sch. Marcos Apu Colo, SJ serves as a poignant reminder to place our trust in the Lord, our God, and Jesus, confident that they will never forsake us, especially during our most trying and solitary moments. In the face of challenges and struggles, it is reassuring to know that divine guidance is ever-present, offering solutions and pathways even when the road ahead seems unclear. Though we may not always comprehend the reasons behind our trials, we can take solace in the certainty that God’s plans are unfathomable and that nothing is beyond His ability.
AMDG!
By: ETR Communications